Okay, so how did you do last year, did you achieve your goals? When I ask people this question I notice often they wander off and change the subject. Then they talk about their “resolutions” for 2013 and avoid talking about last year. I wonder why?

Maybe it’s because they didn’t have any goals. Perhaps they didn’t write them down or can’t remember them. Or maybe what they did accomplish somehow disappoints them now. It is possible they really don’t care; they just take it day by day (I really do envy these folks!)

Whatever the reason, if someone wants to achieve more in their personal and professional life, I suggest they focus on the goal.

Resolutions and Goals. I’m always curious why many New Year’s “resolutions” sound like the same resolutions folks had last year. Someone (allegedly Einstein) once said, "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again but expecting different results.” Many New Year’s resolutions fall into this category. So are we insane if we do this?

No, but I think if we don’t understand and commit to the “goal” behind the resolution, we will surely fail to achieve it.

A simple example. Many people make a “resolution” to exercise regularly. Then they either join a health club or begin walking, which are both positive actions. My health club right now in early January, is really busy. But by February, I’ll begin to see only the regulars every day. The volume of people goes down. I suspect that all those folks who had aggressive “resolutions” are slowly slipping back into their old habits. Why? Because they don’t have a clear goal they can commit to behind the resolution. A “resolution” without a goal is just a resolution. It even sounds non-committal.

An example of a goal that supports the exercise resolution is something many of my colleagues do – they commit to train so they can run in a specific length of race on a given date. They may also commit to run in a certain number of races of different lengths. These are SMART goals (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Results-focused, Time-bound.) This definitely supports an “exercise more regularly” resolution doesn’t it?

And behind this short-term goal is an overarching goal they are each committed to – maintain a fit and healthy lifestyle.

Effective Goal-Setting. Whether you are goal-setting for yourself, your team or organization, you must learn to identify the right goal – the goal you can commit to – if you want to be successful. Until you do this you may create what you think are goals, but learn later they are not really having an impact. You have designed the wrong goal.

In his book The Goal, Eliyahu Goldratt writes a fictional tale about a plant manager, and a company, who didn’t understand what the real goal was. They had created all kinds of productivity initiatives, but shipments were still late, labor costs were unchanged, and inventory was increasing. What they didn’t talk about was the real goal – to increase their profit. Once everyone understood this goal and committed themselves to it, things changed significantly.

At the heart of every successful goal is motivation. If a goal doesn’t motivate you and others, it is doomed. What is “it” that will push me or my team to achieve it? Individuals, who have the same personal vision for maintaining a healthy body, can have different goals this year that motivate. One person might have a goal to complete a triathlon, for another the goal might be to do 400 exercise sessions (me), or for another to run 1,000 miles (not me). A group of people could have a goal to climb Mt. McKinley in Alaska.

What do Your Goals Say About You? When I have new students begin one of my courses, I go around the room and ask them what their goals are for the course. Invariably at least one student says, “to just finish the course so I can get my degree.” I know right then that they have a different level of motivation, are likely to under-perform in their groups and frustrate their teammates. Asking people what their goals are gives you insight into who they are as performers – what do your goals say about you?

When you develop your resolutions for 2013, I suggest you connect a goal to each resolution and dig deeply to find what motivates you. As George Elliot once said, “It's never too late to become the person you might have been.”

I’ve been asked recently in two interviews, “If you could have dinner with any historic figure, who it would be?” And I always give the same answer, “Abraham Lincoln.” Finally, last night, that dream came true. Well, almost. Patti and I saw the movie Lincoln and I thought I was with him. (What a performance by Daniel Day Lewis; he’s got to win Best Actor.)

While the movie is about how Lincoln strategically pushed for passage of the 13th amendment, which outlawed slavery, it is also a story about how an effective leader inspires followers by giving them hope. And this, after all, is what leaders need to do when times are uncertain, people are afraid, or the outlook for the future appears bleak.

Humans Live for the Future. Recently, I came across Daniel Gilbert’s book Stumbling on Happiness. In this book, Gilbert teaches us that one reason humans are unique is that we think about the future  - no other living organism does this. Many of us think about the future all the time and dream about how much better things are going to be. When we are at work we think about what we’re doing after work or on the weekend. We think about our summer vacation. We think about a new car or house we would like.

And, if we are in a good place mentally, our vision of the future is better than today. But since our view of the future is often projected from where we are today, if things are bad today, or at least feel bad, we may be more likely to feel that the future is going to be bad. During these times we may be more uncertain, our morale likely drops and our energy declines. There is a void within us created by the thing we dislike most, uncertainty.

What we need at that moment is hope. And this is when we are most open to someone to inspire us and give us hope for a better, more certain tomorrow. This is when leaders can emerge and, hopefully, help us do things that makes the future better than today.

It’s a Wonderful Life. For many of us the movie It’s a Wonderful Life is a favorite this time of year. One of the inspiring messages of hope in this film is when the guardian angel character, Clarence, shows the middle-aged suicidal character and community leader, George Bailey, what George’s home town of Bedford Falls would have looked like had George never been born. George was able to see how the people he cared about most were worse off without him.

George was the leader who always provided hope for others; in the end he understood that helping others was his responsibility. And when he understood this himself, his hope for the future grew bright.

When have you experienced leadership that provided you hope? Do you know anyone right now who could use this gift? During this holiday season wouldn’t that be the greatest gift of all?

I was sailing this week on a New Hampshire lake our family has been going to for over 100 years. When the wind stopped, my boat was becalmed about 200 feet from Bull Dog Rock, arguably the most prominent land feature on the lake. It was a quiet day and I could completely listen to the conversations taking place between five, early teenage boys as they explored and decided whether to jump off Bull Dog.

Bull Dog Rock was featured on the left of this photo in Forest Notes a few years ago. It, along with 1,750 acres of land, is now under the watchful care of the Society for the Protection of New Hampshire Forests.

To Jump or Not to Jump. For 100 years young people have climbed up Bull Dog, inched their way down to the tree, taken a deep breath, ran down hill to a critical spot, and then jumped in full stride out toward the lake. They must leap out about four feet at that specific launching point to clear all the rocks. Some make it, cheer and have a lifetime of bragging rights. Some leave the tree and either fall down or fail to clear the rocks and get badly injured. Others hold onto the tree for a very long time and then retreat, which is also challenging because of the slope.

On this day all five boys worked their way up to just above the tree. The first boy, a veteran of many jumps, shows them what to do and takes off. Perfect execution. From the water he encouraged a second boy, who eventually did it, but scratched himself a little – nothing serious, I assumed. The remaining three stood by the tree. Teenage encouragement flowed up from the water, “Don’t be a chicken_____, it ain’t bad.”

Then I heard the voice of a future leader emerge from the three boys that remained, “I don’t want to become hamburg meat, I’m going back.” Then he and the other two boys began their retreat. This young man knew when to stop. (I do wonder if he would have made the same decision if there were a few girls sitting over at Blueberry Point watching. An experiment for another becalmed day, I guess.)

Knowing When To Stop – A Risk Management Leadership Skill. I have always enjoyed reading about the leadership exploits of Sir Ernest Shackleton, one of the early explorers trying to reach the South Pole about 100 years ago. Like many explorers he often faced “go” or “no go” decisions. On one occasion after hiking/trekking for 2 ½ months toward the South Pole he decided to turn back with only 100 miles to go - certainly a difficult choice given they would have been the first people to reach the Pole. (Shackleton never did reach the Pole in his lifetime.)

Most of us don’t face these kinds of decisions, of course, but in business there are many times when leaders need to decide not to move forward. I think it is especially true when the financial stakes are large, when your organization doesn’t have the human resources to properly execute the strategy, or when ethical principles become evident. Over my years in business and banking I have become acutely aware of what I call “transaction momentum.” This is when all the parties feel the pressure to close a business acquisition or real estate sale, for example, and don’t walk away when things just aren’t lining-up properly because of all the time and effort already invested.

Knowing when to stop is really a risk management leadership skill that only you can manage. Each of us has a different level of risk tolerance.

• If you are an entrepreneurial leader, you are likely very comfortable with risk and will likely either ignore or under-estimate it. You can manage this by having people around you who can see and evaluate risks for you. This helps you make a better “go” or “no go” decision.
• If you are a risk-averse leader, one who usually moves forward only after you have evaluated all the risks and thought of ways to deal with them, you will likely miss opportunities. You can manage this process more effectively by having business development people around you who can evaluate the opportunities and discuss ways they can make the situation be successful. Then your task is only focusing on minimizing the large risks, not all the risks.

As you think about developing your ability to make “stop decisions,” remember if you don’t put yourself into situations that require them, you’ll never develop the skill. That’s why I admire the young man who decided to go back from the tree on Bull Dog Rock – had he never put himself into that position where he could see for himself the risks, he would never have had the experience of making that “stop” decision early in his life. Someday, like me, he will realize what a wise decision it was.

I wonder how many leaders actually make New Year’s resolutions about their own behavior. Every year in January many of us make New Year’s resolutions. Admit it, you’ve probably made some yourself: I’m going to lose 10 pounds or I’m going to stop smoking or I’m going to learn how to use Facebook. Usually these resolutions are personal in nature and are aimed at self-improvement. However, when was the last time you made a resolution to improve one or more of your own behaviors that is having a negative effect on others you are leading?

Example – Jack leaves his job. I know a regional manager who I’ll call Jack. Jack was responsible for sales and operations in his New England market, a mid-sized and upscale community. He had been in this industry for many years and was modestly successful. He had good customer relationships. During the economic slowdown of 2008-2009 several other team members had to be laid-off, but Jack survived because of his customer relationships.

Over the next few years Jack thought of himself as hardworking, productive, a good manager, and important to the Company. What he didn’t see or didn’t want to acknowledge was that he displayed several behaviors that undermined his leadership and led to disrespect; and after all, respect was what he wanted more than anything else. First, he really didn’t work as hard as he thought – he rarely worked even 40 hours, for example. Second, his production was well below the company standards – in some cases less than 50% of the standard. And, finally, he often tried to get his co-workers to do his work because he was “so busy.” This really led to his teammates disrespecting him and symptoms of affective conflict surfaced around him.

Jack was deceiving himself. He failed to “feel” appreciated at work. He began to see his co-workers as lazy, unappreciative, and lousy managers. During this time another manager was selected to be his supervisor, which further deepened his resentment. In his mind, Jack grew to view himself as the victim of a flawed management system. He eventually left his job and took a position in a completely different industry.

Leadership and self-deception. About a year ago I read a book called Leadership and Self-Deception that really explains this human weakness very well. Every one of us at some point deceives our self into thinking we are better than we really are at something. The authors postulate that deep down or for a brief instant we want to do the correct thing, but then choose another, easier path. This choice is not only an “act of self- betrayal”, but can have many side effects, especially for leaders.

So this year, I resolve to learn about and fix at least one behavior that might have negative side effects on my teammates and family. I challenge you to do the same!